This phase of my life is really killing me..I am quite in control when at the same I am just loosing out the child in me..I have this feel of being in little control of the activities I indulge in..something like not saying everything you feel about the person, saving your heart for someone and not flashing it around..drinking less and thinking about the hang over next morning, plan the moves and then execute them, acting smart with a few people (my boss for instance), knowing your subject really well by reading everything about it and smoking up less, hating the discos, running and learning to swim, fighting the war between mind and body, trying to understand people and understanding why they react the way they do amongst other things...
I thought maybe I am depressed that I am feeling all this, I am not..I am at peace and I feel that peace sometimes, some real bliss when you can feel your soul, coming out of your body and encompassing you in a bubble of happiness and contentment..this feel is for a few seconds only but its worth ever bit of it. So now when I have really jotted a few things I wonder if this phase is really killing me...
I will let you know once I am dead..
