After being diagnosed of diabetes and loosing weight, I have been in the shell. In the shell coz I hate the way people react seeing me with me loosing so much weight. Some look at me with sympathy and some just reacting without addressing the issue. Some talk about my weight loss coz they really do not have anything else to start the conversation with. Although their reaction is just for a jiffy, it leaves my soul molested. I could have never imagined myself feeling that way, never.
And so I dont feel like meeting people who knew me when I was like them. By them I mean superficial, selfish and with a bloated ego. Diabetes made me look life from a different angle, from the eyes of the person who is suffering. I understand that this suffering is more self inflicted rather then them harming me but then I get this feel that I a little handicapped somewhere. Like for example, I can appreciate why all ATMs in India would be disabled friendly, how would it feel not being able to run coz i have screws in my knee etc. etc.
Basically, the point which I am trying to make here is that life is beautiful as it is today. I should appreciate and I want to appreciate what I have and not what I want . The beer with the half glass full tastes better I guess.
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Osho says that we need to get out of the system to be released. Wish he could explain that to a poor man in India whose life revolves around a piece of bread. It was easy for the americans to realise that coz everything else was insured, explored and catered to. I think becoming Buddha is again a prievelage of the rich..
