THATS ALL FOLKS

I guess thats it..here i end my days of despair and dis-belief..my days of wandering between the known and the unknown, between the doors and the WHOs, between frustration and love, I end it here to start another one somewhere..thanks for reading whatever I wrote..

I look to find another Recluse, somewhere..

MONDAY FEELINGS

I think i feel about Monday Blues as strongly as I feel about music or for that matter sex. Its just sucks the life out of me and make my organs malfunction. I wont be surprised is I start farting from my nose on a bright Monday morning or perhaps have my third eye pasted on my arse. I have mentally resigned a few times as I am stuck on my way to office and it just seems that you have the whole burden on your shoulders. I am sure that the ATLAS was created on a Monday. MONDAY SUCKS DUDE..PERIOD.

WEIRDO

There are certain days when you feel uncertain about everything, about the whole existence around you. These are days when the morning tea tastes different and the news paper reading looks weird. The traffic on the roads seems unsual and driving feels great. The sunshine looks brighter and the computer screen in office a game portal. Colleagues still seem insane and work useless. You discover new bands and watch a uselss bollywood comedy.

Some days are just weird..

SATURDAY FUN

A family outing to the Gallery of Modern Arts brooding over paitings from Tagore and Amrita Sher-Gill. Father tells me that Kushwant Singh was a friends of Amrita, a young very beautiful socilaist who died at a very young age. Mom sits on the sofa and wonders if the father son duo is going to finish watching all four floors. We manage three.

The topic on the way back starts with comparing me to MJ. MJ for reasons that he had 600 million USD and died with a 500 million debt. I mean what?? and then how come I come in the picture, I am no POP god and I love kids for totally different reasons. My father adds that the comparison is with regards to the proporation of money you make and the debt you are in. Crazy i tell you..

I increase the sound in the car and the MJ shrieks..Beat it..

THOUGHTS FROM OFFICE

I think having a clevage is a privelage, just like if you are juicy, you are bound to be called Lucy..office makes me a pervert..

Ok, phir wahee shaam hein..the great song from the legendary Kishore Kumar and I again wait for the sun to go down for my run. Feeling a little sorted today. Besides, I think i have the same feels, dont wanna write them again.

I feel sad for Shiney Ahuja, what a horny guy getting fucked by a maid in love with him. Dont know what the truth is but I think shiney days are over for sure.

I write this post from home when I am waiting for the sun to go down and make my way to the park to run. I have bunked my office today, started with meditation topping it up by calling my boss and telling a lie, read some important case laws at home, in love with atleast three girls, have made my own playlist for the time I have to spend on road etc etc.

I could not mend the guitar, cant help but listening to Porcleian and MP and just cant stop my folks from talking constantly that its time I should get married. I havent even tried once to learn how to cook.

Apart from this there is hope, hope of a happy life, more money, a true smile, a good partner,a no-excuse day,sensex to fall down again, some more time with friends, hope of giving love and getting some in return. Guess I am not asking for too much. What say??!!

UNCLE SAM

I think America made me realise how important it is to know how to cook. My Uncle whom I realised is also a very good cook told me its in our genes to cook good food. haha..you got to be kidding me!!

Fascinating country with all races being mixed now as americans..Individualism has a meaning there..thats something I really liked..Come as you are..

GROUND CLEARANCE

Guess what, even I give you all my love for free, it will be piece of shit for you. Only when I play all the pranks and make you work for it that you will be serious about it and be considerate about the way I feel. We cannot take things which we get without too much hassels. Personally speaking, I always liked girls who were always open about their feelings, infact loved them, but I am afraid that was never the case otherwise. People like drama.

Recently I met this friend who was gifted a Rolex on his engagement. During lunch with a glittering Rolex on my friend hand, she was telling us with love in her eyes how he proposed to her on his knees with a decoarted house full of rose petals and candles with romantic music playing at the back. And then they opened the champagne which they had bought long time back travelling together which apparently she thought my friend had consumed long time back.

I mean if someone expects such drama from me then the answer is not in this life for sure. Infact, after lunch I was discussing this entire episode with another friend and how we have never been in love coz we are so unromantic. Chutiya we called him, had a laugh and went on sipping our masala tea..

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I will soon be changing the orbit. It will take me to another phase of life. I dont know how it will be but then I am becoming more independent. I have independence from a whole lot of addictions now. I am not grounded any more, she does not excite me any more, I think I have lost her or perhaps they all have lost me all together..

Only stupid people are serious...!!!

KISSA KURSEE KAAAA

India is going to elections and I will be voting soon. Everyday the newspaper is plauged with politicians calling each other useless and kicking dirt. Its like a group of hyennas pissing on each other before mating.Thats exactly the scene here in India with any party coming together for the power of the seat after the elections. Personally, I hate these politicians and hurling shoes at them is just a noble medium to express our love for them. I am sure each one of use wants to do that but then who wants to get that entire exercise.

To top of it is our very own Victorian "Kasab Theatre" where we are showing the world that you can enter our country, kill us and then we shall provide you with a lawyer to defend yourself with even the possibility of your mother perhaps meeting you in jail. So very noble coz we are the land of the Gods and the greatest democracy. Eventually, you never know, you may also be freed with the warning of not using the same channel to enter India but from some other border area or else the worthy politicians shall not be able to convince the people that adequate steps were taken to check the routes. Perhaps Bjp shall be able press hard on the immigrants issue then.

Indias core issues are no different then what it were 60 years back. Security is the latest addition. Who cares about Black money until I am not a part of it.

Its just so useless in the end. Ok I will be voting but I cannot see anyone who will bring about a change. Being in Delhi, I am not voting for local issues like roads or water or sanitation but for ideologies. I am sorry to say but none of the parties is worth my vote. Being an eduated Indian, I might still cast my vote based on my religion. Sad but true.

MENTAL DISORDER

After being diagnosed of diabetes and loosing weight, I have been in the shell. In the shell coz I hate the way people react seeing me with me loosing so much weight. Some look at me with sympathy and some just reacting without addressing the issue. Some talk about my weight loss coz they really do not have anything else to start the conversation with. Although their reaction is just for a jiffy, it leaves my soul molested. I could have never imagined myself feeling that way, never.

And so I dont feel like meeting people who knew me when I was like them. By them I mean superficial, selfish and with a bloated ego. Diabetes made me look life from a different angle, from the eyes of the person who is suffering. I understand that this suffering is more self inflicted rather then them harming me but then I get this feel that I a little handicapped somewhere. Like for example, I can appreciate why all ATMs in India would be disabled friendly, how would it feel not being able to run coz i have screws in my knee etc. etc.

Basically, the point which I am trying to make here is that life is beautiful as it is today. I should appreciate and I want to appreciate what I have and not what I want . The beer with the half glass full tastes better I guess.


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Osho says that we need to get out of the system to be released. Wish he could explain that to a poor man in India whose life revolves around a piece of bread. It was easy for the americans to realise that coz everything else was insured, explored and catered to. I think becoming Buddha is again a prievelage of the rich..

SOME MOVIES CAN *&^& YOUR BRAINS OUT..

The guy had something. I am very impressed with what he has to say.

These days I am sitting again after years of struggling with my mundane and meaningless life going astray. I am detoxiying myself, I mean I have been smoke free after atleast 14 years, meditating observing my mind, body and sould and diffrentiating between them. Mind is such a useless piece of thing, really, I mean its so wicked and weird. Needs a lot of taming.

I am off mediating, i feel very irritated afterwards. I read Deepal Chopra mentioning in one of the queries raised in the paper saying that it is because of the stress coming out. Today I felt my body loosing out a lot of shit and feeling light. Lets see how many days I can take this. I write this to account of what i am feeling right now.

Osho, killer logic but I am more clever than the americans he fooled. I want to know more he has left back. Pune I am comin very soon

full power, 24 hour
No toilet, no shower..

A shopkeeper advertising his bhang ghotaa in Jaiselmer

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YES BOSS

I blog again from work today and want to express my helpness of having a non working boss. A great human being but a very bad professional. So for example you can discuss all the shit in the world with him but not work. You have to tell him that he should be working, you have to tell him that he should be knowing that and sometimes even fillling his shoes.

Quite a unique position I must say which had its dis-advantages, the advantages because of the freedom I get is worth getting a little frustrated. In the end of the day, my work does not affect my personal life and I like it..

APUN BOLA

Sometimes I just feel like pouring my heart out, let it loose and fly. From the top towards the valley with the sun in the back. I wish people could tell me stories about places where magic happens, I mean something the westerns used to hear about China and India centuries back as I could dream about reaching there someday. Sadly enough, science by giving us the pathfinder on Mars has killed the charm about wondering in the unknown. Google it and whole shit opens right in front of our eyes.

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I have thought about financing a girl child. I hope the little I give makes a difference. I am ready to give more, Cry People, please do not read this!!!!


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I feel bad about the Tigers dying and the sad part is I cant do anything besides signing Petitions and joining communities. Not that I can just go to the jungle and bring a Tiger back home to keep it as a pet.

The Real King is dying and there are these morons singing "Singh is King, Singh is Singh"..PM Sahab, where is the Project Tiger and the Special Budget, I demand an explanation..

To be with you is easy, I know you are good for me..

this feeling inside me, it sends me so high..

to feel for you is easy, I know you are good for me..

You are good for me my Baby, so good for me my love..ABOVE AND BEYOND
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Some decisions have to be taken all by your self coz in the end its your life. You have to go by your instincts, by the experience inside you, by the way yours eyes gliiter with the thought of overcoming it, winning it, loving it and it embracing you.

BABA BAKHCHOD

How can I ever describe Clapton..this is the second time I blog about him. I think he is one my highest rated artist ever. Literally ever..

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I search again for the job, its comes all over again and this time I look forward to it...I have worked really hard for it..Very hard..

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I want to bring discipline in my life. I want to live simple..A little simple..

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Jhumma Chumma De de...

I write this from work, using my fee of USD 150 per hour to express my views on the bull shit firm I work with. People here get credit for licking asses and people give credit for getting their asses licked.

Swipe your card on my ass mate as I groan with pleasure..$%$#ing morons..go $%$@ yourself..

Search Engine

Clarity is the key to life. This is my new view point on issues and life at general. Everything has to be clear from any doubts. A journey into the unknown should be with the clarity of understanding that you are doing so. I have realised the same with Yoga as well. In the end, I think its more about symetry and realising the symetry subconsiuosly towards mindfuleness. Sometimes the vibes resonate and sometimes its the weird thoughts hovering around like bees.

Maya can be distinguished easily and so is the sporadic self glorified feel on peoples faces. Ego and lust still remains knotted somewhere. Its beautiful as I pray for peace and love, in search of the enlightened one inside me.

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Of late I have been thinking about my life and how it is shaping up to be. I am acting indifferent to a lot of things around me, good or bad, trying to go with the flow but yet not get carried away.

I am actually very confused wandering between planning and impulsive reactions and thoughts but still moving. "This too shall pass", they say..

Yoga will guide me through. It will I know..

PLUCKING WITH A SMALL LEAD

Not that I am a man interested in politics but I am ashamed to see the leaders that a country like India has right now. I am sick of watching Chidambaram on television giving mere explanations on almost everything and acting as if he is doing a big favour on this country by providing/ rendering his elite high Harvard taught services to this poor country. Horrible is a word which is not even close to the way I feel. The incompetent leadership under Sardar jee and his Italian mentor does no good either.

I think the Lotus has an edge for giving some statements which I can relate to. Some stance on the refugees, the Hindutva (I am turning into an extremist I think), Pakistan, Terrorism, the residual goodwill of the Vajpayee regime etc. The Takluu Advani is no good either. Horrible is again the word.

God save India..

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Father is reading Osho these days in Hindi.I cant read a page in Hindi, he tells me that is because there are basic flaws in my education, being in a Catholic school for formidable years as one. He tells me that Osho says that we should never regret. Sure I can relate to that, the Metallica cover from the Garage album, where Hetfield shreeks "No remorse, no regret"..yeah and the guitars burn..


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Goa was lovely, loved it, swimming in the lap and chanting was close..thank you god for making me feel it and left to live..girls were lovely, the laughs still ringing..